Oh, Vladimir – what a gift you’ve made to
Theresa May. Just when she was maintaining a steady, strong and stable decline
into Brexit oblivion, you’ve gone and given her a shot of nerve agent in the
arm.
Seizing the moment, our illustrious Prime
Minister has given the world a demonstration of her aroused vigorous at the
antics of the Kremlin. Not being possessed herself of a penis, Mrs May had to
hire one in – her priapic partner is Gavin Williamson and
the result, who would have guessed, has been a tidal wave of premature political
ejaculation.
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| Theresa May's Willi |
This has been Willi’s first outing on the public stage – and what an impression he’s made. Employing what I imagine is his most statesman-like tone, perhaps practised in front of the mirror before breakfast, he invited Russia to “go away and shut up”. Here’s a mature man in full command of the vocabulary of his high office, the warrior we need in this war of words, an undisputed voice of authority.
What’s more, as Sec of Def he has the key
to a war-chest full of tanks, jets and boats, so he can put our money where his
mouth is. With his protection, why would I need to carry on digging my nuclear
fallout shelter?
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