Planet Vatican?

As a practising, confirmed, if not evangelising, atheist, you might suppose that there would be nothing the Vatican could do that would come as a surprise to me.

But stating that the ordination of women - sorry, the attempted ordination of women - as priests is as bad as child abuse is truly breathtaking. Mind you, the Catholic church has shown itself to have expertise in the abuse of children, so why not women as well? Go for the full matching set.

I hope Cardinal Ratzinger, ex-Nazi youth member and current Popey, gets the kind of welcome he deserves when he comes to the UK, at the taxpayers' expense. How about a Tom Jones-like greeting, girls? Throw your pants at him. I'll come and throw mine, too.