I have just read the label on a bottle of co-op claret. It says "Avoid alcohol if pregnant or trying to conceive".

Well, I don't know about pregnant, but I do know about trying to conceive. It's been my job for years. Concepts have been my stock-in-trade for longer than I care to remember.

If only I had avoided alcohol, my career would have been a fine, shiny thing.

Oh, bugger.

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