The Royal Weddingathon

Stand by your vomit bucket: it's going to be a long, bumpy ride.

I couldn't give much of a monkeys for William - he was born into it and it really isn't his fault - but for Kate...? What does she think she's doing? It's a bit like watching an alcoholic take their very first drink: with the benefit of foresight, you know where this is going to end up - not necessarily in a mangled mess of Mercedes in a Parisian underpass - but not a happy ending. And not a very happy in-betweening, either.

Kate: the Royals are barking. They are an in-bred, if fabulously wealthy, bunch of twit-of-the-year toffs whose sole function in life is to decorate our otherwise sorry little State. The only thing that saves them from the firing squad is the thought of the alternative: how would we like Bruce Forsyth as a Head of State?

She could do better for herself. Back out now, Kate, before it's too late.