If you’re unlucky enough to live right next door to a
hornets’ nest and all your attempts to move it away (so you can build an
extension to your house, for instance, dig a swimming pool or make a nice
tennis court) have failed, here’s a piece of advice, grown out of experience
rather than hearsay. Don’t go up to the nest with a big stick and try to knock
the shit out of it.
Because they will get very, very angry. If you thought life
was awkward before, you’ve seen nothing yet. It’s so much better to suffer the
occasional sting: swarms of angry hornets are not a good idea and they’ll make
your life hell. Learn to live with them: they make a lot of noise when they
buzz around your living room and they are quite scary, but they’re only doing
what hornets do very well – buzzing and being scary.
But they won’t hurt you unless you hurt them. After all,
they were here first: you’re the intruder.
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